Soldier’s Pen
By BGen. Alexander Cabales (Ret.)
Betting on a duck
When General S was still a young captain,
he happened to stray into a room full of senior officers relaxing over a few
bottles of beer. The colonels and the
generals were in their light moments and were in a jolly mood. Among others, they were making jokes about
the national leadership and of their precarious position in the Armed Forces of
the Philippines under an ordinary housewife as their Commander-in-Chief.
Being the only officer below the rank of
Lt Col, then Captain S became the “plebe” (the term refers to a first year
cadet at PMA) in that gathering. Thus in
situations like this; he became the butt of jokes and the subject of “military
caress”. After being made to down three
bottles of beer at “one count” (in one gulp) each, he was ordered to entertain
the group by telling a joke. For a while
he hesitated to comply for being at a loss for an appropriate one that would
make these guys laugh. He was afraid
that he would end up knocking his head (literally knocking your head
continuously with your knuckles unless told to stop) or making several pushups
if his joke does not turn out funny.
These are the possible military “caresses” applied on a junior officer
by their seniors if they are both academians (PMA graduates).
Finally, he mustered enough courage and
said loudly, “Cory Aquino!” To this,
some of the senior officers chorused, “Where is the joke there, Captain
S….?” Captain S then replied, “The fact
that she is the President and our Commander in Chief is the big joke,
Sirs!” Amidst the boisterous laughter
that ensued, Captain S hastily scampered out of the room to safety.
Truly, most of the soldiers at that time
believed that it was a big joke having a politically inexperienced house wife
as the President of the Philippines and the Commander-in-Chief of its Armed
Forces. They said that she is not
qualified for these positions. The late
President Cory Aquino was indeed so unpopular in the Armed Forces of the
Philippines that her term was marred by several bloody coup attempts. In fact, most of the officers in that room
during that particular incident were at one time or another involved in coup
attempts later on. As such many of them
even spent some time in jail or in hiding for their involvements.
It was a big joke at that time that those
types of joke about the late President were circulating in military
circles. The years have overtaken it,
though, and telling it now may not elicit the kind of laughter as it did many
summers ago. We may agree or disagree
with the points of view of those rebel soldiers but is not for me to say today
whether they were right or wrong in their judgment of Cory’s capacity to govern
the country. Let history, however, be
the judge.
Now, let me connect this with another old
joke that I picked up from cockfight aficionados a long time back but may be
worth remembering today. Accordingly, a
guy brought a duck inside the cockpit during a derby. That was funny enough but funnier still was
that other guys placed their bets on the duck.
In rehashing that joke, I added that the funniest part of it all was
that the duck won! This concluding part
of the joke generated more laughter in the coffee shop.
The joke about the duck winning in a
contest for cocks has a naughty allusion of unqualified people finding
themselves elected in the forthcoming national and local elections. The story, however, did not end there. One guy commented, albeit seriously, that
there are lots of well qualified and intelligent persons who after being
entrusted with the rare privilege of being an honorable public officer fail to
serve the people as they promised and do nothing except robbing their
constituents dry. After hearing this
Solomonic observation, would we perhaps consider putting our bets on a duck?
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